
I'mma just throw everyone off and call her "Beth".
Something's off. Maybe hell week is coming and I haven't noticed, maybe I'm growing impatient with stupid folks' logic, maybe there's really something to the mercury in retrograde stuff, or some people are really really trying to justify doing stupid stuff.
So last night, Beth calls to talk to me about her newest ex. I use to think she just had the worst luck with men, because this is already her 3rd "serious" man in a year. Anywho, she's rambling and I'm uh huh yeah'ing her while I cook....
Until she said ....
"I told him I was tired and I wanted to go to sleep, and he got pissed"
"Girl it happens, just do the 'grownfolk' some other time."
"I mean, just because it was hot and I was naked, didn't mean I wanted to sex him"
*long pause*
"You laid next to a man....naked and thought that you were going to just drift off to sleep...with NO pokey?"
"Well he needed to practice some self control. Anyway, he was buggin', saying that I was trippin' and stuff, right? So I got up. Put my clothes on. Woke up my kids. And we left".
*staring at the phone*
"You did wwwwhat"?
"Mmmm Hmmm Yuuuuup. Woke up my kids and we bizounced! Girl I was tired, the kids were tired, and we got go alllll the way back to my house at 1 in the morning. Dayum he so selfish".
"Beth? Sweetie? That wasn't smart at all. You had your CHILDREN around this dude? How long have you known him"?
"There YOU go. *lip smacking* Anyway, I met him when he married Sergeant sew n sew. We just start kickin' it. They separated now. He got the house".
"Ummm Booboo, they're not separated. She's on emergency leave. Her Mother is dying".
"Oh. So that's why she didn't get all her shyt out the house. Well she need to hurry up 'cuz I don't play that. I.don't.share.men".
"Child did you hear me? They're NOT separated! Beth I gotta go. My head hurts".
*smacking lips again* "You know what....."?
"Girl Bye"!
Fastforward to this morning, when I get an email. "You think you perfect when you not. That's okay. I forgive you".
So I clicked on.... "Deleted, Not Read".
Then my cell started blowing up. I let it go to voicemail. This heffa is yelling like I'm one of her kids, about me acting stank. *rolling eyes*
Sooooo I pulled off the gloves....then sent her an email, threatening to dime her out to ol' boys wife, complete with address, phone number, what she looks like, make and model of her car...the whole 9, if she didn't stop bugging me.
I haven't heard from her since.
Hell, I might still blow the whistle. Okay NOT blow the whistle....but throw mad hints like "oooh girl I was reading this article. here's the link. dang that's foul"! Orrrrr leave a typed note on her car right before she gets off work, just to make sure no one spots it but her.
Okay, that's just plain evil, but I hate knowing something that personal about someone, then being in limbo about whether or not they should hear it from me.